Erotica

In 16th century Japan, rival ninja clans, FUMA and IGA, enter a deadly conquest of power when FUMA ninja Kotaro discovers a change in power secret about the IGA and the Shogun, overloads of Japan. Kotaro is murdered by Hanzo, leader of the IGA clan. Now, his daughter Kaede seeks revenge by using sexual ancient deadly ninja arts.

In the worldly realm of softcore porn, the Japanese without a doubt leads the pack and DVD label Pink Eiga heads the charge. Ninja Pussy Cat bares it all as it examples itself in being a pure example of what Pinku Exploitation should be and always shall be. Hiroyuki Kawasaki breakthrough film combines the Akira Kurosawa's samurai drama with Roger Corman's exploitation and nudity. Corman, a pro at weird and violent, would be proud of a potential Japanese equivalent, but Kawasaki still has miles and miles to go before catching up on the honored Academy Award winning legend.

The dual superimposed images have graced our eyeballs in the last year and, truthfully, it is rather revolting. Do we really want to see knives, explosions or gaped mouth severed heads fly toward us in horrible polarized filters? The answer is no. So, we all know that this would eventually come to light - 3-D tits. Porn is a billion dollar industry and what would be better than having real breasts right smack in front of our face? That question is obviously rhetorical. Unfortunately, this reviewer thinks that twenty-first century 3-D fad is the biggest joke since penis shaped bachlorette Popsicles you get from your local sex shop, but the "industry" is a cash cow follower and 3-D is just the next step for porn to suck that utter dry. Today, it just happens that I will not be reviewing a hardcore, penis pounding of vagina to next realm type porn; instead, I'm slowly taking myself into 3-D porn with Retromedia and Infinity Entertainment's flesh flick releases called Sorority Girls 3-D.

Director: Fred Olen Ray
Cast: Christine Nguyen, Heather Vandeven, Tony Marino, Frankie Cullen, Rebecca Love, Brynn Tyler, Ted Newsom
Retromedia Entertainment / Not Rated / NTSC Region 0 / 16x9 Widescreen (Anamorphic) / Dolby Digital 2.0 / Color / 81 Minutes

As cliche it is to say, I'm just like any other guy; I love to watch porn. Porn, hard or soft, is an all-American pastime created for a couple of reasons: to make money and to give people an erotic obsessions. Another passion of mine should be clear to the most blindest of people; movies are a pinnacle standpoint in my life and that notion has been well saturated here at SheSoCrazy.com where movie stardom (and sometimes b-grade) babes are splashed with their bare chests and asses on display day in an day out. So, when Retromedia Entertainment sent me one of their latest and greatest of the softcore porn genre, I was graced myself with just a little smile. Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros was resting in my hairy palms. Yes, an epic adventure had awaited me as I popped in the DVD of the Indiana Jones spoof. I'm sure if George Lucas or Harrison Ford were deceased, they would be turning in their graves as we speak!

Cast: Beverly Lynne, Brandin Rackley, Jayden Cole
Infinity Entertainment and Retromedia / Not Rated / NTSC Region 1 / Enhanced 16x9 Widescreen / Stereo 2.0 / Color / 81 Minutes

Infinity Entertainment was kind enough to send me some of their latest material including a James Bond softcore porn spoof called Bikini Royale 2: The Right to Bare All! Now, I have never seen the first Bikini Royale; in fact, I've haven't even heard of it before. Going into this spoof fresh, much like the tight, young and sexy girls of Bikini Royale 2, there were no expectations to be given from it's predecessor. Any corniness or flaws that the original might have had had not tainted me. From what is understood, Beverly Lynne makes her return as BIKINI agent Tanya X and that scarcely makes up the connection between the two films. You know how these porn sequels go; the flimsy bridge between films can be expected as they want to throw new ideas at you so it doesn't look like the original all over again so you can get off to something totally brand new all over again.

Director: Antony Balch
Odeon Entertainment / Certification 18 / PAL Region 2 / 1:85.1 Widescreen / Stereo 2.0 / 89 Minutes

I'd take advice from almost anybody on anything, but I would never take any suggestions on how to please a woman. From the moment I knew my penis was a tool of sexual pleasures, I was on my own and that was where I started - "on my own" self. Hearing me talk about my masturbation practices was a task you had wish you could have gone without I'm sure; however, I find that most people learned by somebody, whether parent, sibling or creepy uncle Jack, that had gave them the insight on what the reproductive organs actually and accurately accomplish. Imitation was my salvation. Playboys helped me become "one" with myself and from then on, I was on a slippery slope fast tracking down the path of sex with multiple women through high school, college and now the work force. So, do I really need a film that tells me the secrets of sex? No, but it certainly is fun to watch and you might just learn something from this not-so-ancient-yet-no-so-recent film that is being narrated by an ancient mummy!

Director: Donald F. Glut
Cast: Jeff Rector, Denise Ames, Griffen Drew, William Marshall, Ed Fury, Karen Black
Frontline Entertainment / Unrated / NTSC Region 1 / Fullscreen / Stereo 2.0 / 94 Minutes

Extras: Director's Commentary Track / "Making of" Documentary / Deleted and Alternate Scenes / Actresses Auditions / Trailer / Cave-English Dictionary / "Dinosaur Tracks" Music Videos / New Still Gallery / "New Cavegirl" pinups / Storyboards / Music / More...

There really isn't much to putting an erotica movie together because, frankly, anyone and everyone will watch the damn thing. Hell, the porn industry does just that by creating some silly scenario, plopping many big breasted women onto the set and you've got yourself a porn that will sell. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that if any film, whether porn, erotica, comedy, drama, horror, etc.., has a cast of numerous hot women and various sizes of succulent exposed boobs, then you're nearly 100% of the time a guaranteed shoe in for some profit. The story doesn't even have to make complete sense and that is the beauty that is America! If there is a competent story behind the juggies, then the film becomes a "bold" and "controversial" film that could be nominated or even win an Academy Award! The film I'm about to review here at SheSoCrazy.com is definitely not an Academy worthy film, but a tongue and cheek comedy-erotica that involves claymation dinosaurs, whacked out cave people trying to learn love and many flopping up and down chests!

Director: Shuji Kataoka
Cast: Shiro Shimomoto, Hiromi Saotome, Ayu Kiyokawa, Yutaka Ikejima, Yoshie Mogami, Otaku Sarashina, Haomi Sugishita, Bunmei Tobayama, Akira Fukoda
Pink Eiga / Not Rated / NTSC Region 1 / Widescreen / Surround 2.0 / Color / 61 Minutes.

I was never one for bondage and suspension pleasure nor have I ever implemented those types of "fun" into my arsenal of sexual encounters. I like to think I can please a woman without having to cause her rope burn around her tits and taco. But, seriously, what is the fascination with masochistic bondage? The closest I've ever experienced with it is when I brought in handcuffs into the bedroom and though the feeling of helplessness was blissful torture, bondage isn't something I'd prefer over something else more gratifying and playful like role playing or even a good hard spanking. So, when Pink Eiga decided to throw my way a film called S&M Hunter that dealt with a superhero type protagonist who ties up women with ropes that can leave them brainwashed with endless pleasure, I had to jump at the chance to see what all the hype was about!

Director: Mototsugu Watanabe
Cast: Kyoko Hashimoto, Ayumi Taguchi, Ayu Kiyokawa, Yukijiro Hotaru, Jimmy Tsuchida, Masaki Watanabe, Reika Kazami, Saeko Fuji, Yutaka Ikejima
Pink Eiga / Not Rated / NTSC Region 1 / 16X9 Widescreen (4:3 Full screen???) / Stereo 2.0 / 60 Minutes

I remember back when I was a wee lad sneaking into my parents' bedroom, tiptoeing to the very old oak chest, shifting through a couple of dozen balled up socks and coming up with what are now ancient video cassette tapes. What lies on those films of tape you may ask? I'll tell you. As I let the VHS player grab the tape and pull it in, hairy bush crotches and sleazy jam music made up the first porno experience of my life. I will admit that I never knew porn existed pre-1990. When you're that young, you don't know such things and those who are responsible for you, (i.e. parents) fear telling you the facts of birds and bees because of their own inexplicable self consciousness. Here I am now many years later with a sleazy stash of my own and I still have this amazement with retro porn even if some of it is only from the recent 80s. Sexy Battle Girls, though not porn per say, branches out into 80's Manga erotica in a decade of which Ron Jeremy and Ginger Lynn made so infamous.

Director: Derek Ford
Cast: Dennis Waterman, Victor Spinetti, John Bird, Vanda Hudson
Odeon Entertainment / Certificate 15 / PAL Region 2 / Full Screen / Mono 2.0 / 78 Minutes

When you think of the idea of trilogies, you think of three individual films that complete a continuous story or, perhaps, a trilogy of stand-a-lone films but are not in any way, shape or form following a continuity. On the rare occasion, you may stumble across a trilogy of stories - all of which are shown in one sitting and do not attempt to be a part of a one story. If you need a recent example, think back to the good old horror days with Creepshow - a handful of spooky and gruesome tales that chilled the backbone stiff. Horror wasn't the only genre to play this game nor will it be the last. This, That & The Other brought the comedy and erotica element into the trifecta of single story sittings while keeping those stories tightly packed in to one less than 80 minute film.

Director: Yojiro Takita
Cast: Yukuiro Hotaru, Yuka Takemura, Yutaka Ikejima, Rei Matsubara, Yoshimi Kai, Tatsuya Nagatomo, Shinji Kubo
Pink Eiga / Not Rated / NTSC Region 1 / Widescreen / Japanese language with English subtitles / 67 Minutes