Adult Movie Reviews

Starring: Lily LaBeau, Skin Diamond, Roxanne Hall, Kierra King and Britney Amber
Directed by: Stuart Canterbury

Studio: Hustler Video
Year: 2011

Running Time: 110 minutes + Bonus Material

Starring: Lee Stone, Jazy Berlin, Jayden Cole, Asphyxia Noir, Brandy Aniston, Missy Maze, Tommy Gunn & Sean Michaels
Directed by: Stuart Canterbury
Studio: Hustler Video
Year: 2011
Running Time: 80.35 minutes + Bonus Material

The year 2011 might not have been most successful and spectacular year in the life and career of a certain Governator, but it sure as hell has been pretty exciting for one of his most popular characters, namely Conan the Barbarian. Not only has the able-bodied swordmaster fought his way through an excessively gory Hollywood remake directed by Marcus “Friday The 13th” Nispel, but also has the muscle-bound Cimmerian Stallion screwed his way through a tongue-in-the-cooch, erm cheek adult entertainment parody courtesy of Hustler Video.

This reviewer has always considered himself somewhere in the middle of the political spectrum. My family stemmed conservative values have always clashed with my liberal antics thus I could never decide on a firm stance and I will never intend on picking one. Politics are boring and pointless when done democratically even though democracy is the best kind of governing available in the world today; those close to me are flabbergasted by my decision to not make a decision and scorn me by making sure to notate that, "politics effect us all and your voice needs to be heard." While that statement is true, my single vote doesn't do shit nor will it ever because democracy flows with the current cultures and my single vote won't make a difference. So, when my editor tells me Hustler is sending us This Ain't Fox News XXX, my first reaction wasn't positive in all honesty and there was no animosity toward Hustler for parodying one of my news outlets, but more toward the fact that what kind of fucking story will come out this? After some internal deliberation, I came to realization that bashing a particular party and seeing "Bill O'Reilly" getting his dick wet by a cock washer could be entertaining. I'm glad to be an independent...

Vivid's journey into parodying the superhero genre has been well exploited and profitable for one of the largest pornographic industries. Batman and Superman, two seasoned comic heroes, fell into the grips of porn execs and giving our heroes a well deserved happy ending for their hard, vigilante and life-saving work. Vivid's superhero parody market will continue to flourish as long as the money continues too and, with every adult company out the today getting their greedy hands dirty in the parody biz, the signs of halting our favorite fictional heroes from showing off their "special powers" won't stop any time soon. The Incredible Hulk has been porno-fied in its very own XXX parody by director B. Skow and Vivid Entertainment and takes on a retrospective imitation attire instead of relying on a more current CGI written Hulk.

I know I'm a chick who runs a celebrity nude blog with tons of porn ads, but I don't really watch a lot of adult movies. I've watched a few in the past with ex-boyfriends, and like most people, I'm always curious about the latest celebrity sex tape, but I'm no porn aficionado. However, after doing this job for as long as I have, I have seen a few porn parodies in my time, and I have to say This Ain't Ghostbusters is the best one yet. Vivid may be the king if the celebrity sex tapes, but no one makes porn parodies as well as Hustler does.

The Transportation Security Administration are on the front lines of airport security; they ensure that our lives are safe and secure while in flight toward our destination and not our final destination. TSA agents are given loads of responsible that has been a tremendous burden since the greatest attack on the United States. The recently, and rightfully, deceased Osama bin Laden used our own planes against us, destroying our symbolic infrastructure and affecting millions of American lives. With that being said, the sad excuse of TSA agents whom supposedly check every bit of their suspicions unfortunately do not and our adult friends at Hustler exploit the TSA's most ridiculous and ludicrous personal and security features by making them sex crazed agents of TNA.

As much as I hate to admit it, Kim and Kourtney Kardashian really do it for me, but their choices in men make them seem unworthy to have such a stallion like myself. My standards won't be lowered for Khloe no matter the price or the extent of desperation or drought I might be situated in. If I can't have Kim or Kourtney, settling for second best wouldn't be so bad considering the real figure's crazy antics; when I say crazy, I meant their idiotic and arbitrary. I'll take the Kim look-a-like in Dylan Rider and the Kourtney look-a-like in Amia Miley any day of the week, every week of the month and each month of the year courteous of Hustler's parody sequel entitled Keeping it up for the Kard-Ass-Ians #2!

In part two, mother Kard-Ass-Ian Kris wants to put the girls to work in the porn world that will spread the Kard-Ass-Ian name around the world and rake in more cash than they will ever need! As Kris gets swooned into her glasses of wine and with the cameras rolling non-stop, the action of Kard-Ass-Ian ass just comes full force with their male counterparts. Kim, Kourtney, Kris and not even the soda girl isn't safe when it comes to sex with the Kard-Ass-Ian-Jenner family!

Jeopardy and Alex Trebek have been an American game show staple since 1984 - over 35 years of useless trivia! The famed high-payout game show usually doesn't sport trashy, sexy vixens as most of the information containers come in the form of nerdy college professors or self-indulging fatsos who watch the History Channel day in and out while downing a tub of Rocky Road ice cream. Ratings would boost if a tall blonde with a low cut dress and striking eyes took the round over super computer Watson's load. She would be a winner every night, week and month! Hustler brings us something similar and just as better with their x-rated parody of nightly game show! This Ain't Jeopardy XXX!

At first, I was skeptic about a porn parody of Jeopardy. I mean, how can it be really done? Jeopardy is on a production set for half the time, but if there lies a will there lies a way and Hustler found that happy trail way. Trebek is a stressed out man before his show tapings and in order to relieve stiffness, especially in his groin region, he must perverse over his big breasted stylist masturbating her hot box in the shower and getting a full body rubdown by his slutty masseuse. By the way, I didn't realize Trebek had such an extensive arm sleeve tattoo! Trebek's stylist is played by Mary Carey, that chick from California who tried to run for Governor! Yeah, her! To me, she looks funky in the face and her vagina lips can stretch for miles, but somehow she can still work out a hard-on. Breanne Benson has better bang for Trebek's buck as she soothes his pre-show stiffness by work of his hands, the inside of her throat and deep inside of her body until he explodes with relief.

Being on the air for a long stretch of 22 seasons, The Simpsons have been the longest animated television series, but not as long as porn and porn depictions have been around! Surprisingly haven't done before, Hustler paints itself and a handful of porn actors and actresses yellow to get down in dirty in the Simpsons' world releasing The Simpsons XXX Parody. Though we're not ignorant to the animated working class comedy and porn before as illustrated depictions of the cast have been porking each other for years on cartoon sex sites, but now we get a taste of a live action feature that is in the flesh!

Hustler's This Ain't Avatar 3D XXX may have Wicked Picture's Speed beat as 2010's best porn film, but here is a look at The Wicked (2008) via our friends at Horror Yearbook.com.

What do Evil Head, Porno Holocaust and Porn of the Dead have in common? I'll give you one guess. That's right, they're all horror films with the filthy, dirty side of sex! One of the Wicked Pictures latest endeavors The Wicked is no different as we follow five friends who think whats waiting for them is drugs, sex and rock-n-roll but what they stumble into is a vampire stricken desert. The Wicked, however, isn't just your run of the mill horror porn parody; it offers up a big of homage to a couple of horror stables in mainstream land. The Wicked plays out a lot of like The Forsaken (2001), a modernized western vampire blood bath. Also, the two vampire slayers (played by super busty blond Stormy Daniels and porn actor whose name escapes me) are named "Baby" and "Otis" - straight out of Rob Zombie's The Devil's Rejects (2005)... read entire review